November 21, 1946

Sunday

Dear Doc,

My dear, Mr. Rounds, you should feel flattered.  Tell me, how often do you receive letters (from females) written at 7:00 in the morning?  It's a rare thing, Doc, let me assure you.

Jo having to go on duty shortly after seven couldn't tolerate my staying in bed until eight, at least had to drag me out of bed to go to breakfast with her.  So I did!  That accounts for the early morn correspondence.  I don't have to be on duty until ten.  However, I shall write until the time comes to go to church.

By the way, Doc, tell me your secret, where do you get the "inspiration" for such lengthy letters?  They are very interesting and may I say, a welcome enjoyment?  I shall try to respond fittingly, knowing I won't succeed.

Life at the Sanitorium continues to be as full and interesting as it was when I started.  Before I comment further:

Say Mr. Rounds, what do you mean, the Anne Roberts of "old" didn't seem serious enough to become interested in mental disease?  Thinking about myself as of last year, I guess I was pretty much of a dope.  To be quite frank, I didn't know what I wanted to do.  One thing I am very glad of and that is that I got out of Wolff and Marx.  One deteriorated in that place.  It takes all out of one and gives nothing but unpleasantness in return.  Perhaps I shouldn't be bitter, we had our fun there.  It makes me disgusted with myself to know I preferred that place instead of going to school which I would have been doing.  Oh well, if I hadn't worked there I would have never met you which compensates greatly, huh!!

For god sakes, Doc, why do you continue studying subjects you don't enjoy and know you'll be unhappy doing.  You talk like an old man, "gramps" what are you, all of twenty two?  For heavens sakes, if you don't get any satisfaction out of "Management Fundamentals", "History of Insurance," "

How to be a good businessman" bla-bla- etc.  Why are you studying it?  Business fundamentals are for men who want to be big businessmen, and apparently you don't.  Hell, Doc, if you want to study Psychology, go ahead and do it.  More power to you.  What I can't understand is why a person would want to go through life - day after day doing something he knew he honestly didn't want to do.  Study Psychology as a "layman" can and can't be done.  One has to come in contact with people who are mentally unstable in order to understand it fully.  "That is my advice to you, Mr. Anthony"

By the way, I think you are quite wrong.  Parents and loved ones of persons who suffer from mental illness feel no humiliation at all.  From the cases I've come in contact with.  They don't feel pity, God that is the last thing the patients need.  As soon as people, everyone, realize that mental illness is not shameful, the better it will be for patients to orientate themselves in the "outside" or so called "normal world" after they are considered well.  There is nothing disgraceful about mental illness.  Anyone can suffer from mental illness.  Must dash off to church now.  Will continue later.  

Bye!

Another perfectly beautiful day has ended and I shall try to complete this so called "letter." 

 I tried several times while on duty to write more, however that was impossible, not that today was considered a busy day but there are so many interruptions.  Mrs. Leusdale wants to go for a walk.  You see, most of the patients in our cottage cannot go out unless attended by a nurse.  Which makes it fine and dandy when there are music lovers in the crowd.  Tuesday I'm accompanying one of my patients to see Hamlet.  Wonderful opportunity.  Of course, it's all on the patient.  I think this work is ideal.  Say, Doc, if you really are interested in this type of work, why don't you do it during the summer months?  When you are not going to school?  There are numerous opportunities for "eager" young men.  Or, are you no longer considered an "eager" young man.

My dear, Mr. Rounds, you flatter me greatly.  I never dream of becoming a psychiatrist.  I will be satisfied if I can be a damn good nurse.  I trust you'll excuse the profanity.

Oh, Doc, you are so wrong.  Mental suffering is such terrible suffering.  I don't know what manics you have been going with, however, the ones I have seen and talked to (acute sufferers) They know "something" is wrong with them and they are miserable because they do not know what it is.  The fact that they cannot realize reality.  Oh, it is all so complex.  I get so excited when I start thinking about it all.  Is that normal?

We have a wonderful group of nurses living in our house.  They are all rather elderly but very young in spirit.  There are five of us living here.  We are "waiting up" for one of the women who gets off duty at eleven for a good old beer party, with onion sandwiches and everything else that goes well with beer including numerous laughs.  Oh, we had a grand time.  I find I get along better with older women than I do the young.  Guess it is because I can't tolerate frustrated females who are frustrated females because they know of nothing better to do.

I regret very greatly not ever going flying with you.  Heavens man, why didn't you drag me?  This summer we had the occasion to do a great deal of flying.  Perhaps you remember my telling you about the girls camp we were at this summer. Well, the director's son, who was recently discharged from the Air Corps. He was a transport pilot in the Burma India Theater.  Anyways, he had a piper cub with pontoons which offered many pleasant hours of flying.  It is wonderful.  By the way, my eagle friend, clarify said statement, please, Getting Checked out in a P51 Mustang may be a little more than I could handle which was just what I thought when I met you (only differently)  Yee gads, what comparison!  Never fear, Doc, you'll come through alright.  I'll think of you Tuesday. Not that, that would make you feel anymore confident.

Incidentally, Doc, I was unable to decipher the Morse Code.  Enlighten me, Mr. Rounds I'm interested.  As you remember I was quite bad in code. - I just couldn't grasp it.

I know this is a very poor letter.  Please forgive me, I shall try to do better next time.

As ever,

Anne

August 23, 1945

Aug 23, 1945

Dear A.P.

I am in a writing mood now and have loads of time on my hands, and I got your letter of the 19th today so I guess I have an excuse to write on to you.

First let me get something straight about the last war.  It is over and so far as the Army is concerned they have enough B29 operators right now so my prospects of getting another ride in one of those crates is about as slim as the shadow of a moonbeam.  I am not sorry because from a tax-payers point of view they just aren't worth putting in the air.  Men can get time in PT 17s or A-6 which can't cost more than $25 an hour rather than in the big iron bird where the gasoline alone costs around $100 - $150 at the least.  Yes for my money they can leave the "Queen of the Ramp" on the ramp and let her stay.

How I wish I had a lot of money and could buy all the things I could use in my spare time.  It sure would be nice to have a car but they cost $1000 right now for any car and I can't afford such a price.  Then I would like to have one of these Army Primary Trainers they are selling to the public.  They only cost $875 and use about 10 gal. of gas an hour.  The maintenance is rather high but then you can sell time in them for $16 an hour which is more than double what it costs.  All you have to do is sell 3 hundred hours and the airplane has paid for itself.

I sure wish I could have been in Maine with you a couple of weeks ago.  I'll bet that all you really needed was not time but some one interested to walk around the country-side with you.  I have a pair of real comfortable shoes that could stand more than I can and I am sure we could have found a very interesting walk.  Boy I would really have loved that.  It would have been a swell chance to relax and enjoy life in the quiet where airplane engines don't roar all day.

Yes, I have $240 a month but where it goes I have never found out.  I should keep track of it for one month but it might prove rather embarrassing a few years from now.  Of course too much goes into pleasures but it seems that when you have money you can afford to buy what you want at any price.  It's just like when you get a raise in pay or make a big deal you try to keep up with Jones's and they try to keep up with you.  If you go out to a party and everyone is spending money you can't just sit and watch.  You have to contribute to the fun and it costs money.  Hotel rooms cost and meals in the city cost especially on weekends when you have a date and you pay for 2 (you should know about paying for more than yourself) and taxi fares and bus fares, movies and such all mounts up.  Anyway as of today I have last month's check and $200 sides which will come home next pay day; or the remains of which because we have a big weekend coming up.  Anyway I think I will start out next month on my check and see just what it costs.

Yes I expect the people will feel rather cool towards the army very soon but I hardly blame them.  The army is a rather rowdy outfit.  People stood it while the war was in full swing but soon they will have the feeling that all the neighbors boys and the good boys from the neighborhood are home and only the no-goods who couldn't hold a civilian job anyway are the only ones left.  And as long as we no longer need an army it is just one more thing to make the taxes high.  No I will never blame people for having a cool viewpoint toward the army because I feel I have seen about all there is to see this side of the water.

I really wonder just what my future holds.  Prospects of getting out are not good at present and I am not too sure I want to get out.  I can't start school this year because it is getting late.  The army has no real need for me but they have me in H classification and they are only screening A and B now.  So it will be some time before they get to us.  By then they will have all the men they need and probably wouldn't consider a reenlistment for less than 5 years.  School doesn't seem to be the answer if I do get out but I am sure of one thing.  I haven't yet had enough flying to make me stay on the ground, I don't want my wings clipped yet.

I guess I have written enough. I sure enjoy your letters.  Wish you could write a little oftener.

Love

Austin

May 24, 1945

Ardmore,

May 24, 1945

Dear A.P.

I neglect you too much considering the interesting letters you write so I shall answer one of them for a change.  Your letters like the Independent arrive every week and I miss them if they don't show up onto.  Please don't forget because it also will upset my routine.

I am glad to hear that Real Estate is making you so busy and apparently happy.  I guess like me, you too have averted to a war job which appeals and gives experience along a line which can be used to further an better, maybe, our post war occupations.  Your Real Estate experience may be just the thing to make you more successful building and my flying may be what I need to give me the job I will need after this is over.  We both seem to be happy which is also a good way to sweat out a war.

I am sorry to hear that the civilian radio broadcasting may be cut out.  However it may have been the incentive to further study and a real "ham" license.  I am sure that radio will have a place for me when I get home, either in the form of a ground station or maybe a small set in a plane of my own.  On airplane with a radio is most convenient and I almost believe that without one I would be lost.  We have so many in our plane that flying with none at all would leave me a little lost.

So you have an office girl who seems to know what she is doing.  She must also be rather interested in her work or I am sure she wouldn't satisfy you so readily, I have worked for you and know.  I wasn't too ready to cooperate at times and I guess it wasn't very hard to see that my thoughts were other places than on a plumb bob or a steel tape.  I would term Virginia in Army lingo as "eager".  We call some people "Eager Beavers" and some people who don't like their jobs have contempt for such people but I say more power to her.  Say, "hello", to her for me.

B17 nose

B17 nose after the war

To be able to fly a B17 looked like an impossible feat for me a couple of years ago but right now I believe it is no harder than driving a truck, and the similarities are many.  Of course you are in an element which makes improper operation dangerous but to any truck driver who can drive without accident, I say let him get the training and he too can sprout Silver Wings.

I would love to send a picture of a B17 to you if I can find a good one.  They are rather hard to find in a pose that shows off their beauty, and they are beautiful.  Like women they are beautiful when they have got smooth sailing but ugly as heck when twisted the wrong way.  Never push either too hard or sooner or later they explode in your face and it gets embarrassing what happens then.

I don't suppose I have to give you a lecture on B17s, but after all I have said about the crates I still have deep admiration for them.  There is not a ship in the world which can take all they can and still return home in condition, maybe for a crash landing but at least return home with a live crew.  All the other ships you can name go down and are lost to the war effort but the 17 can almost always be flown again.  That is why I hope they don't send me over in anything else.  Flying a 17 is life insurance I don't want to pass up if I can help it.

Since V.E. day my outlook at college has taken a turn for the better.  I must admit that before VE day I had no idea of going back to school partly because the realization of such a thing was so remote and out of this world.  I had the idea of being a professional soldier or a tramp or just anything which would take my worries and responsibility away.  I was looking for the easiest way to live I guess but right now I think that maybe college will turn out to be what I want.  It will be nice and quiet and lacking in hair raising excitement.  I will again be just another one and I believe that will just suit me fine for 4 years.  I may be bragging about my job but I still think that they are trying to make a man out of a kid and the responsibility is too much.  However I will bear up just to prove that I can to myself because after all is said and done I have to live with myself.  So long for now.

With love

Austin.

April 24, 1945

Tuesday 

April 24

Dear Mother:

I haven't got anything else to do so I will write a letter.  Nothing to do tomorrow so I can stay up all night.

I was very much at a loss as to Harold V. latest misfortune.  I might say that I lost all faith in women for the time being at least.  I had the opinion that he was very happy and that there was to be an addition to the family. I thought the Varny's would be happy having another grandchild but as it stands they must feel very sorry and rather unhappy about the whole affair.  I am a little disappointed in Harold because I thought he had a little better sense than to jump into something he couldn't finish.  However maybe everything is turning out for the best.  I really don't see any special way to avoid such situations since you usually don't use your head when falling in love (I am told).  Maybe there is more to the story than has come out.

I am rather lax in writing to people I should.  I haven't written to the Suleys lately or to the Schmales or Blaisdell's or anyone.  It seems that when I get a chance to write anyone it is usually someone at home that gets a letter.  I should write Betty also but I just don't think of it in time.  I may do it tonight but if not you can tell her the next time you see her that I am thinking of her.  Also give her the old line that I am busy.  It's always good for a stall for awhile longer anyway.

They had an accident down on the line which was not serious but could have been.  A man loaded his station in the ball turret and then proceeded to time the solenoid on the gun and consequently fired 14 wild shots.  They struck the runway and ricocheted into the wing and ratio room of another ship.  The other ship had two men in the radio room and they got grey hair as the slugs went through.  It tore up the ship a little and cause quite a disturbance on the field when the news got around.  It just makes you feel a little more strongly that those pretty little shells really can do a lot of damage.

I hate to admit it but I have been wagering my nickels and dimes against the one "arm bandits" in the club.  To date I am aprox. $3 ahead of the game.  I have put in one dime and one nickel a day and have been getting all my luxuries at the machine's expense.  It can't last long but my luck has just run with me.  The money just seems to run out at my bid and call.  This is probably putting me in a position to lose my shirt any one of these days.

I wish I didn't have money around because people come and want to borrow money.  My pilot borrowed $20 and the navigator the same.  Also a friend has $20 so come around pay day I will be rich again. This month I will again send home about $150 so at the rate I am going I will have a small bankroll when I get home.  I guess you were rather surprised when I sent all of $400 home.  I only wish I had some way to put it to work so it could make more money then I would really be in big business.  With the education the government promises us after the war I guess I can become a play boy for a couple years and spend it all but I guess I can't really because I was brought up too well for that.  I guess I don't regret my good bringing up when I see the fellows around here who are broke all the time.  They will be the ones after this thing is over who will look to the country for a job.  Maybe it is like the ant and the grasshopper and I hope I shan't be left out in the cold.

 

The Ant and the Grasshoppers Silly Symphony

I have been reading about the chances of civilian aviation becoming a big thing in the future.  A great many of the experts believe that it is a thing of the future and something not to be overlooked.  Too many people are two dimensional and have no idea what the 3rd dimension, up, has to offer.  I am sure that with a commercial license I could find a lot of fun or maybe a good occupation in flying.  I have my eye on a job but I need 4 years of college for the job and also a few breaks.  If private flying doesn't get too big before I get my 4 years of college I am sure I can talk someone into giving me a job.  An airline pilot put the gun in my ear and if I was good enough for him now I will be good enough for me when private aviation gets going.  I also believe my present experience meeting people and handling men will help a lot.  Maybe I am getting more form this training than I thought at first.

I just seem to ramble along and not say much.  I guess I never write about my troubles but I am getting a little hard boiled.  One of my men got a little out of line and he is getting company punishment for his little oversights.  Could have prevented this getting the 104th article of war but he has just taken one step too many in the wrong way and something had to be done.  I got a little tired of trying to set him on the right road.  Now he will have to stay on the post and not see his wife for a week.  I feel rather sorry for his wife and kids but after all I am now in the position to pass the buck to someone else and it was either her or I and I enjoy leisure enough to guard it a little.

Well I will have to quit for a while.  I am a little tired and it is 2300, time to hit the sack.

With love

Austin